OMG! I've Been Kidnapped By Johnny Depp!
by Equus2011
Summary: Larissa Beachems really should have stayed home today...Enough said...This story is Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

OMG!! I've Been Kidnapped By Johnny Depp!!

Hey Guys It's your crazy, lunatic of an author, 'Please Don't be a Douche'!

I'm Starting this story because I think it'll be fun, so hold on yall, this is going to be a crazy ride!!

And I believe this is every girls dream come true to be kidnapped by Johnny Depp. Well except for this girl in this story..

DISCLAMIER: I DON"T OWN JOHNNY DEPP (OF COURSE) BUT I OWN LARISSA BEACHEMS!

Chapter 1

Larissa Knew she should have stayed home today, by the way she woke up on the wrong side of bed that morning.

Split coffee on her clothes forcing her to go change, her dog got out of the backyard and was running a muck around the peaceful neighborhood.

Okay that was a total lie, Larissa lived on the Westside of Hollywood. The worst place you can ever live. Druggies, prostitutes, thief's, etc.

She was pretty much use to it, since she grew up there, with her mom and four other siblings. They lived in a tiny house. Her Mother use to clean houses when she was younger, to try to provide for her five kids.

Larissa as a child remembered asking her mother one day after she got done cleaning up a woman's house, "Momma, how come we don't live in a house like this"? Her mother at the time was putting her cleansing supplies up. Her mother froze, then turned to look at her young daughter.

She was giving her a guilty look she gave every time one of the kids talked about money or homes. At the time Larissa didn't quite understand why she looked that way sometimes, of course now she does.

Around 14 when she was about to enter high school, Larissa's mom got married which caused them to drift apart. She doesn't like that man till this very day even though it was 9 years ago.

Her four older brother's liked him, they thought he could solve all their problems since he was the owner of a popular night club. Larissa scoffed, as she grabbed her purse and camera.

Her brothers all worked in his club The Temperance, her mother as well serving people at the bar ( men). Larissa was sure that wasn't the only thing her mother was doing at '_that'_ club.

She was the only sane one in her family. It was obvious how _'Victor' _played her whole family into working for him.

Larissa saw through his act right away. That's way they hate each other. When Larissa told her mom about how she shouldn't be with him, she almost took her advice if it wasn't for her brothers saying they needed a male role model in they house.

We can all safely say she was royally pissed off at her brothers. So when she hit the age 18 she left home to go to college, something her _brothers'_ tried to talk her out of.

She knew they were just jealous because they never went to college. So by the first of July she was out the house and on her own getting a apartment.

Which is where we are today if wasn't for the fact Larissa was late for her job as a Photographer's assistant, she would be sulking over her problems.

But Nooo! She had to go to work to pay the bills. Now normally she wouldn't complain about her job since it has always been a dream for her, but today just wasn't her day…

Larissa groaned as she pulled out her cell phone while sitting in her red Audi, being a Photographer pays pretty well. Larissa dialed the number to her agency she worked at and waited while it rang.

" Maybe, I should just call in sick or something", Larissa suggested to herself, moving her black bangs out of her eyes..

Larissa knew what her answer was as the idea of staying home began to sound even better, just staying home watching Jerry Springer and Maury and Judge Judy and----Hello?! A frantic voice picked up the phone on the other end.

"Hey, Helen I was just calling-- Larissa!! The voice sounded relived just as she was about to tell her why she couldn't make it in today.

Where are you?!! Helen asked. "Well I'm right outside my house", Larissa answered truthfully in a calm tone. "What the hell?! You haven't even left?!", Helen yelled. Larissa winced at her tone of voice and began to talk in a nervous voice, "umm… yeah about that, yeah uh I can't make it into the office today."

"And ways is that?" Helen asked attempting to calm down. "Because I don't feel like it", Larissa said slowly.

Helen it was quiet for a moment, Larissa believed she may have hung up, but soon an amused laughter met her ears. "Are you crazy?" Helen asked in amusement, anger still present laced in her voice.

"You can't stay home, you have to come in!" "You have that important client to take a pictures of remember?"

"And your point is"? Larissa asked as the reason why she had to go in because of the Pirates of the Caribbean's cast . She should be excited, but she was in charge of taking care of Keira Knightly.

What's the problem you ask? Larissa hates Keira Knightly because of what she did to Orlando Bloom.

"That was just evil," Larissa sneered to her self. "So you have to come in unless you want to lose your job", with that Helen hung up leaving Larissa to wallow in her despair.

"Fine", Larissa said through clenched teeth and shifted gears in her car and backed out her driveway looking out the rear view mirror.

* * *

When Larissa got there it looked like total madness , people running around trying to get everything ready for their famous world renown guests. 

"There you are,! I really thought you were actually going to stay home"!! A relived voice called out from the side of her.

Larissa glanced at Helen who had fiery red hair, light blue eyes, and was about a foot shorter then Larissa.

She turned away from her, not really caring about what she had to say and walked over to her boss who just walked through the door inspecting Every thing.

"Mr.Verciti", Larissa called to him to try and get his attention. "Mr.Verciti", Larissa said louder finally getting his attention.

She hurried over to a middle aged man who gave off an intimidating aura about him. "Yes, ms. Beachems"? he said with an old tired smile. Larissa immediately began to feel bad about trying to skip out of her work.

"Uh… yeah, what do I have to do again"? Larissa asked embarrassed a little blush on her cheeks. "Mr. Verciti laughed whole heartily and ruffled Larissa's short flipped up hair (How is that possible? I don't even know myself). "Your supposed to be checking to see how much film we have," Mr.Verciti said with a booming laugh. Larissa smiled weakly at him just as Mr.Verciti's secretary pulled up beside them.

"Mr.Verciti, the secretary said breathlessly with a grin on her face, they're here!!" "Now, Now dear make sure you control yourself around our guests," Mr.Verciti said in a laid back warning voice and followed the nearly squealing girl out to meet the guests.

Larissa grew a bit anxious at the thought of meeting Orlando Bloom, as she went to check the film like she was told to do. "This is going to be a hectic day, Larissa muttered to herself.

* * *

And it was exactly like she said it would be. Taking pictures left and right of the she-devil her self, Keira Knightly. It took all of her self restraint not to jump across the boundary line of the photo for the actress and attack her for cheating on Will. 

Larissa knew it was only a movie they were in. But that still didn't mean she had to kiss that drunken guy over lovable Will Turner II!!

She knew it was pointless to be mad at her anyways, she was acting like the child her mother told her she became, when she didn't either get her way or when she was mad.

But still she wanted to hurt her! Larissa looked at her with narrowed eyes as she took a picture of Keira posing with a sword in pirate men clothing. "This just pisses me off!" Larissa gritted through her teeth and stood up from her spot on the ground she was crouched down at.

She made her way over to the other Photographer not really caring they were in the process of taking another shot. "Mark", Larissa said to him making him look up at her, not too happy she bothered him.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be back soon", she didn't wait for his answer to see wither she could leave or not. Larissa breathed in deeply as she leaned against the door of the room they were in. "I need to calm down besides why should you care?" It's not like your going to marry the guy", Larissa told her self and made her way to the bathroom.

Just because she didn't like being in the same room as Keira didn't mean she lied to get her way out. She really did have to go to the loo to relive herself.

Larissa pushed open the bathroom door and looked under the first stall to see if someone was in there.

Seeing no one, she pushed open the door and closed it behind her locking it.

She sat on the toilet looking at her cell phone to check and see If she had any messages or missed calls.

Larissa was about to listen to her message about the news of the one story house she was trying to get for the last two months when she heard a loud sound right outside the bathroom.

Larissa furred her eyebrows in confusion as she wiped her self and pulled her pants up, Sticking her cell phone in her pocket and flushed the toilet.

Opening the stall she made her way to the sinks and washed her hands. Keeping her eye on the door, she dryed her hands, and stood in front of the door that would lead her out. She wasn't normally ominous about what she was about to do, which was only open the door.

"Come on Larissa, It's not like anything bad is going to happen to you", She kept telling herself and swallowed as she went against her feelings and opened the door that led into the hall way.

Larissa looked around and saw no one. She chuckled to herself and walked forward, she tried to catch her balance, but slipped and fell on the ground. "What the hell?" Larissa felt something wet on her hands and looked down she was sitting in a pool of blood. Larissa stood up immediately backing away from the blood, causing her to gag.

She covered her nose as she saw a trail of smeared blood going around the corner. This was one of those times she hated when her curiosity got the best to her and followed the trail around the corner.

"_I hope this doesn't end up some horror flick when the girl follows the blood and a monster is feeding on the carcass of her now dead boyfriend,"_ Larissa thought to herself nervously as she rounded another corner.

Not quite, but what Larissa saw was even more unbelievable, Johnny Depp was dragging a body into the storage room.

Larissa gasped as she saw it was the director of Pirates of the Caribbeans, Gore Verbinski. Johnny Depp looked up at her and smiled a golden smile. "Hey there", Johnny Depp said casually and continued dragging him into the storage room and dropped his body inside. And proceeded out the room towards a frozen Larissa.

"Now luv about what you saw..", Johnny said in with a smile and walked up to her face which was pale.

"Y-You killed the director"!! Larissa yelled tears threaten to fall out of her emerald eyes. "Yes, Yes I did," He answered in a serious voice now.

"Why?!" Larissa asked in fear as she backed away from the still advancing Johnny. Johnny shrugged his shoulders, "We had a bit of a- disagreement", Johnny said now only a few feet away from her. Larissa looked down at his right hand and saw a pistol.

"Now luv, Johnny started and raised the gun," you saw nothing, hear?" As you can see I've used this gun already before, so what's stopping me from using it again? Johnny asked calmly as Larissa stood transfixed in fear staring down the barrel of the gun.

Larissa took in a deep breath and kneaded him in the nuts causing him to double over, she ran down the hall trying to look for anyone to help her. "Hello?!! Can anybody hear me? Larissa for a moment waited but turned and saw Johnny coming down the hall way.

I'll take my chances! Larissa thought and ran out the entrance to her car she reached for her purse to get her keys but saw it wasn't there. Larissa cried out in despair and ran to the street to flag down a taxi, good thing she kept her money in her back pocket.

A taxi stopped in front of her, She opened the door and jumped in she was about to shut the door when an arm shot out and grabbed her. Larissa looked up at her attacker and nearly burst into tears as she saw Johnny holding on to her arm.

"Sorry sir, my girlfriend didn't know I was here waiting for her to take her home", the taxi driver nodded with a soar look about him because he wasn't getting paid. "Come on babe let me take you home"? it was more of a command than a question. Larissa slowly shook her head and tried to pull away from him but he held onto her with a firm grip.

He had an blank look on his face as he leaned down to her ear, "That's too bad, youwouldn't want to get the taxi driver involved do you?" He whispered in her ear. The taxi driver looked at them in suspicion clear in his eyes. Larissa shook her head and let her self be guided away from the taxi that drove off.

"Now to make sure you don't rat me out"…Johnny began. That was the last thing Larissa heard from him as a white blinding pain came over causing to fall from his grasped and hit her head on the concrete knocking her unconscious instantly…

* * *

Larissa began to stir as a loud sound went off faraway her. Larissa slowly opened her eyes and saw she was on a bed. She looked around in confusion when she saw that this wasn't her room and tried to sit up. She fell back when she saw she was strapped to the bed. "H-How the hell did I get Strapped to a frikin' bed?!!" 

She stopped when she noticed the door opened to reveal Johnny. His hair was cut in a short hair style, and He wore a white shirt and long pajama bottoms. Then It came back to her, Gore Verbinski, the taxi driver, the blinding hot pain. She winced as the pain began to resurface.

"I see your awake Luv", he walked in with a smile," I bet your hungry, I'll get you something to eat ". He then turned and left through the door again.

One thing came to mind as Larissa began to slip into the welcoming darkness again, **_"OMG!! I've Just Been Kidnapped By Johnny Depp!!!"_**

* * *

Hello guys and girls This is 'Please Don't be a Douche, I hope yall liked it, Please review! Oh just to let yall none of this stuff I've typed is true, Johnny Depp Is Not a Psycho killer, just in case you little children decide to let you minds wonder, then I'm on the 4:00 news. Cause Yall Couldn't keep your mouths shut! 


	2. Authors Note: Not a Douche anymore

Dear Fans, by unexpecting and tragic turn of events, my mom found out about my penname, so I have to change it So I have to think of a new one, but don't fear, I'll still get my chapters to you. Sincerly and a forever missed penname, 'Please Don't be a Douche'


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry guys about updating so late, but here's chapter 3**

**I don't own 'POTC'(although i wish) but i do own Larissa Beachems **

**Enjoy-The Wicked Mistress**

Larissa began to stir as a beam of sunlight streamed down upon her face.

she opened her emerald eyes and stared at the bare wall in the room, expecting to her poster of Orlando Bloom, she had ubtained from her friend.

But grew confused when she couldn't find any trace of her beloved. "where's my poster"? Larissa asked her self, mumbling. " I can asure you it's not here luv", a husky voice said from above her ear.

Larissa screamed at the top of her lungs, while kicking and thrashing around.

"Calm down luv your acting like a turkey with it's head cut off", Johnny said in amusement from beside her on the bed, his hand resting against his head, proped up on his elbow.

"w-Why am i strapped to this bed"?! Larissa asked him angerly trying to move her arms and legs.

"You know it's pointless to try and get out of these binds," johnny said to her, the amusement still present in his voice, "just relax".

"Relax"? Larissa said to in disbelief he nodded.

Larissa began to laugh angerly,"You have got to be kidding me"!

" you just frinkin' kidnapped me!!" "and not only that but you just killed someone"!! "Now you tell me how is it that i'm able to relax when your some kind of psychopathic murder, junkie monster"?!

"Now luv", Johnny said, all the laughter gone from his voice and eyes leaving behind an empty void

lacking any kind of emotions.

larissa shivered at his cold eyes wanting nothing more than for him to be a thousand miles away from him."I told you we had a bit of an disagreement."

Larissa, not likeing to be seem as a weak person retroted back him."Y-yeah, if that was true everybody in the world would chocking the shit out eachother right now." Johnny chuckled" True", and he lifted himself from the bed, stretching."where are you going"? larissa asked in alarm as he strolled out of the room closing the door behind him.

"Hey"!! Larissa yelled as she heard the door click signaling her that it was locked.

"Hey come back and let me out you bastard"!!! Larissa listend but still didn't hear him come back.

"Don't leave me here"!! but her cries went unheard as the day pass onto to night.

"Great, just great".

To larissa's sorrow and glee he didn't appear again the next day. Her glee because she wasn't near the muderous, psycho. Her sorrow since she didn't know when she would ever get out the stuffy room.

larissa laid awake staring at the ceiling when she heard a click at the door.

Larissa stared apprehension starting to get to her. hoping this wasn't her last moment alive.

* * *

**Hey and this is The Wicked mistress, I hope you liked this chapter. Sorry that it's so short, but please review!**


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